Picking Up The Pieces
by Just A Girl In The Shadows
Summary: When Izaya is completely destroyed, the person who comes to his aid is none other than Shizuo Heiwajima. Will he be able to save his broken former enemy? Warning: Contains language, graphic violence, rape, self-harm, attempted suicide, fluff, possible character death, and eventual Shizaya (which means yaoi).
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

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Rain poured down from the dark grey clouds hovering over Ikebukero. The streets were nearly empty, save for a few drivers daring enough to face this dreadful weather at two in the morning. Desperate footfalls suddenly broke the silence.

Izaya's feet pounded against the pavement, sending up large splashes of water with each step. Four men followed, getting closer and closer.

The pale information broker whirled around and threw a knife from each hand. One man was struck in the leg, and another in the chest, but the remaining two payed them no mind as they fell to the sidewalk.

Izaya turned a corner into a dead end alley. He ducked under the stairs of a fire escape and tried to quiet his ragged breaths. It wasn't much drier or warmer under the stairs, but he hoped it would be dark enough for his pursuers to pass him up.

Sure enough, his plan worked. He held his breath as the two thundered to the end of the alley.

"Where the hell did he go?!" one of the men shouted. "It's a goddamn dead end!"

Izaya used their confusion as an opportunity to slip away. He quietly sidled out from his hiding place, keeping his back against the wall as he went. Izaya had nearly made it out of the alley when the man he'd stabbed in the leg earlier blocked his way with a dark grin. "He's over here!"

_ Well that came back to bite me in the ass, _Izaya thought to himself. He tried to slip past the man, but was yanked back by the hood of his ever-present fur-lined jacket.

The other two men raced over, wearing the same dark grin as the one holding his hood. Izaya was shoved to the ground and pinned by his arms against the brick wall by the injured man and one of the other two.

The remaining one towered over him with a look of twisted glee. His expression soon turned to rage. "You sold us out you fucking bastard!" he shouted as he delivered a few kicks to Izaya's chest. With each kick there was the sharp crack of ribs breaking.

"What do you have to say for yourself?!"

When Izaya didn't reply, the man switched to kicking his stomach.

_ It's sorta funny, _Izaya thought as the man brutalized him. _I always thought the one who would eventually kill me was Shizu-chan. I suppose I'm destined to be killed by these lowlifes though. Ah, what cruel fate. _

The man eventually grew tired of jabbing his foot into Izaya's stomach. He crouched down and scowled at the amusement showing through the pain in Izaya's expression.

"What's so funny?!" he shouted and punched Izaya in the face. His nose gushed blood and it dripped onto his shirt as his head slumped forward.

The informant coughed up some additional blood before raising his head and saying with a smirk, "I never thought I'd die at the hands of garbage like you."

His attacker's face contorted in fury and he punched him three more times, each hit harder than the last.

He grabbed a fistful of Izaya's dark hair and yanked his head up again. "I never said I would kill you. Oh no, death is too good for filth like you," he spat.

Izaya flinched slightly as a knife was abruptly slashed from his collarbone to his navel, leaving an angry red gash behind the tear in his shirt. The man then leaned down and pulled backed the two halves of the drenched cloth to expose the skin beneath and bit down on Izaya's pale chest. This wasn't a gentle gesture in the slightest, though. The result was two deep, bloody lines that would probably leave scars later on.

"Wh-what are you..." Izaya stuttered, trying to comprehend what was happening. He remained in a state of shock and confusion as several similar wounds were formed on his neck, chest, and stomach.

Unaware eyes watched the man reach down to undo the button and zipper of his jeans. Izaya snapped back into reality when his jeans and boxers where yanked to his ankles, the cold air hitting his lower half.

His assaulter pulled down his own pants and underwear to expose his throbbing erection. Izaya struggled frantically as his legs were spread and his entrance was prodded by the man's cock.

"No! Please, no! Don't!" Izaya shouted, on the verge of tears.

The man smiled sadistically and penetrated him with one hard thrust. He pushed in rapidly until his whole length was buried in him.

Izaya screamed at the top of his lungs. The agony was absolutely unbearable. His long drawn out scream of pain faded into weak sobs. It felt like he was being torn in two.

His hateful attacker didn't hesitate to begin thrusting. He pounded as fast and hard as he could into Izaya, his thrusts lubricated with his own precum and Izaya's blood.

"Stop! Please stop!" the informant's pained cries echoed throughout the alley. His sobs and shrieks were now the only sounds in the chilly night air. The rain had stopped a couple minutes ago.

The man thrusted into Izaya a few more times before he came inside him with a grunt. He pulled out, leaving a disgusting mixture of cum and blood leaking from Izaya's spread-out entrance. It added to the puddle of blood and rainwater already surrounding the pale man.

The rapist stood and pulled his boxers and pants up. "I hope you fucking die and go to hell, you filth," he yelled, stomping on Izaya's left shin to emphasize each word. Halfway through the sentence a loud crack rang out, so he moved his efforts to his left thigh. A few harsh stomps after he stopped speaking, there was another crunch of breaking bones. Izaya's screams and sobs nearly drowned out the nauseating sounds.

As a final blow, he dug his heel into the knee of the recently abused leg, pushing down until it bent the wrong way and broke the skin on the other side.

The man who had chased, beaten, insulted, and raped the great Izaya Orihara walked away with a twisted grin on his face, the screams sounding from him like music to his ears. His two companions followed, also grinning.

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**A/N: Oh my. Did I really make Izaya this weak? I'm not quite sure what happened there. I started out with Izaya running, and then it turned into him getting beaten up and raped. Damn the dark side of my imagination.**

**Anywho, don't worry. Shizuo will appear in the next chapter. I should update today or tomorrow. I can't believe this is what I'm making my first fanfic /blushes****  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters**

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A certain ex-bartender woke with a start. He rolled over and checked the clock, only to see it was three in the morning. With a groan, he returned to his original position.

Shizuo stared up at the ceiling, wondering what it was that had woken him up. He wasn't sure, but it sure as hell wouldn't let him get anymore sleep. The blonde got out of bed and stretched with a yawn. His amber-colored eyes drifted towards the window. It had stopped raining.

"Might as well take a walk since it's peaceful outside for once," he said to himself.

The blonde quickly changed into his normal attire. He also pulled on a jacket, since the early-morning autumn air was cold.

Once outside, Shizuo started walking without paying much attention to where he was going. He let his mind wander. Thoughts of his job, his brother, the Dollars, Shinra and Celty, Izaya- ... Izaya. That damn flea. Now the ex-bartender wished he'd brought a cigarette. With a sigh of annoyance, he turned around and started heading back to his apartment to get one. It wasn't too far off.

Reaching the first intersection, he decided to turn left instead of right. The route he chose was shorter than the original one.

Shizuo let his mind wander again, purposely keeping his thoughts away from anything directly relating to Izaya. A series of pitiful sobs broke his train of thought.

He stopped just before the alley the sounds where coming from. The scent of blood was suffocating. Did he really want to see whatever was in there? Well whoever was crying probably needed a hospital or something like that, and who else would be able to help this early?

"Hey are you alri-" Shizuo cut himself off as his eyes widened in shock at the sight before him. Izaya was slumped against the wall of the alley, sobbing in pain. He was covered in wounds and bruises. In addition, his leg was bent in a strange way. His jeans and boxers were around his ankles, and a red and white puddle surrounded him.

Shizuo didn't want to believe his eyes. He was disgusted by what he saw. Doing this to anyone, even Izaya, was just inhuman. Feeling sick, he approached the beaten man.

"Izaya?"

The informant's head shot up and the sound of his name. A mixture of dried blood and tears covered his face. "Sh-shizu-chan?"

He tried to push himself further against the wall as Shizuo got closer. "P-please don't hurt me!" he shouted , squeezing his eyes shut.

"No, I won't hurt you. I promise," Shizuo said holding his hands up to show he meant no harm. He crouched down in front of Izaya, who tried to meet his eyes. The blonde's heart twisted. He'd never cared about the informant previously, but now all he wanted to do was hug him. Instead he reached over and gently brushed damp hair out of his crimson eyes.

"Who did this?" he asked softly.

Izaya cried harder at the mention of the men that attacked him.

"It's okay! You don't need to tell me." Shizuo said, his voice so quiet it was nearly a whisper. He waited for him to calm down a bit before saying anything else.

"We have to get you to Shinra's. You can't walk, can you?"

The noirette shook his head miserably in response.

"Alright. I'll help you get up so you can pull your jeans on. Is that okay?"

He nodded, biting his lip. Shizuo got up and moved to his left side. He leaned down and grabbed both of Izaya's arms, carefully pulling him to his feet. The raven-haired man steadied himself against the other.

"C-c-can't," he stuttered.

"Lean against the wall."

Blushing slightly, Shizuo bent over and gathered the jeans in his hands. He closed his eyes and pulled them up enough for Izaya to reach the denim. Once he had the jeans on, he slid back to the alley floor, unable to stand with his destroyed leg any longer.

Without a word, the golden-haired man started to pick up Izaya, who let out a small shriek of fear and struggled to push him away.

"I'm sorry! I should've warned you I was going to pick you up."

He nodded to show he understood.

"Are you ready?"

Another nod.

He started to lift him again, but stopped of his own accord and said, "Good lord, you're freezing."

Sudden warmth surrounded Izaya's shoulders and back. Shizuo had taken off his jacket and wrapped it around Izaya. He hesitantly grabbed the warm, dry fabric and pulled it around himself tighter.

The blonde lifted him off the ground as if he weighed nothing and held his shivering form against his chest.

"It h-hurts!" Izaya cried out, more tears slipping down his cheeks. He wrapped his arms tightly around Shizuo's neck and sobbed against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It'll be okay..." he whispered. He stood there and let the noirette cradled against his chest cry on him for a while. After a few minutes of this, Izaya passed out and Shizuo started towards Shinra's apartment.

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**A/N: Ugh this is so OOC it's not even funny. I'm not gonna lie, I cry every time I write this story. THE FEELS MAN. I'll pretty much never update twice in one day ever again, so yay for random miracle update! In totally unrelated news my autocorrect tried to change the word "write" to "zero torte", "so" to "Dio" and then "Sao", and finally, "the" to "Ethernet". Guess who's not writing on her phone anymore!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters. Which is a real shame.**

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Shizuo shifted Izaya so that he was slung over his shoulder. With his now-free hand, he pounded on the door to Shinra's apartment. There was no response.

"Shinra! Shinraaaaaa!" he shouted and hammered on the door faster and more forcefully. No signs of life from the other side.

Now Shizuo was pissed. Beating the smooth wood of the unfortunate door, he bellowed, "Shinra you better open this goddamn door or else I'll- ...oops."

He'd hit the door a bit too hard, accidentally punching a fist-sized hole through the once flawless surface. Splinters of wood were still falling into the apartment when both Shinra and Celty raced in to see what all the commotion was.

"Shizuo! What could possibly be so..." the young doctor trailed off and resisted the urge to facepalm when he saw an arm sticking through a newly formed hole in his front door.

"It's Izaya! He's badly hurt."

Muttering something about door abuse, Shinra let Shizuo into the apartment. All frustration faded from his expression when he saw Izaya's condition.

"What did you do?!" He quickly led Shizuo to a bed to set Izaya down on.

"I didn't do this. I found him crying in an alley, already this way. He was sitting in a pool of blood, but there was also a lot of... white... and his underwear and jeans were pulled down.. Shinra, I think he was... raped..."

The doctor paled. "You're probably right. Did he say who did it?"

"He only cried harder when I asked him... Will he be ok?"

"That's a difficult question to answer. I'll probably be able to patch him up alright, so he should be on his feet again in a few days. His leg might be a problem, but he'll adjust."

"I'll take care of him. For the days he'll need assistance, I mean."

"Really? Don't you hate him?"

"I did. But after seeing him like this... I don't think I do anymore."

"Ah?" Shinra decided not to ponder it. "Anyway, even if he recovers physically, Izaya will be a mess mentally. Rape is an extremely traumatizing occurrence. We'll need to keep an eye on him. Go have a seat in the living room while I assess the damage and fix him up."

Shizuo did as he instructed with a heavy heart. Celty sat down beside him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Celty began typing on her PDA. She tapped Shizuo on the shoulder and showed him the screen.

_'Are you alright?'_

"I guess. I'm just worried. And confused."

'_What are you confused about?'_

"Izaya. I thought I despised him, but when I found him in that alley... I wanted to hug him... Comfort him. I don't know why, but it hurt to see him so injured and upset. Shouldn't I have been happy to see him in pain?"

_ 'Perhaps some part of you has cared about him all along. Think about it. There were several situations in which you could've killed him in the past. But you didn't.'_

"That doesn't explain _why_ I care, though."

_ 'In a way, he has devoted himself to you. Izaya always goes out of his way to mess with you. Even though it's to make you angry, it's a constant source of attention. Wouldn't anyone care about and want to protect someone devoted to them?'_

"Maybe you're right. But the only reason he does that is because he hates me. Isn't there some way to make him... y'know, _stop_ hating me?"

_ 'That's something only you can do, Shizuo.'_

Another silence ensued. There were a few times that Celty tapped her fingers against the screen of her PDA, but she always decided to erase the words. Shizuo appeared to be deep in thought, and she didn't want to disturb him.

Twenty minutes later, Shinra walked into the living room.

"Izaya has two broken ribs and four cracked ones, and a few broken bones in his left leg. I've stitched up the gash and a few of the deeper bites, as well as put a cast on his leg. He also probably has a cold or similar virus considering the fever he's contracted," Shinra announced.

"Shizuo, you should probably take him back to your place while he's still unconscious. As soon as he wakes up, have him take a shower and get into a change of clothes. Also give him some pain killers and cold medicine. Izaya can go back to his own apartment after he gets over the virus. Call me if you need anything or if he takes a sudden turn for the worse in any aspect."

The bodyguard walked to the room Izaya was in. Shinra cringed as he watched him lift the unconscious information broker none too gently.

"A couple other things. Don't make him walk too much in the next couple days... for obvious reasons. And if he wants to talk about the incident -or anything for that matter- just do your best to be there for him," Shinra instructed. He looked slightly worried as Shizuo recklessly slung Izaya over his shoulder and held him there with one arm.

The blonde simply nodded and walked to the still-open front door.

"Oh, and one more thing."

"Hm?" Shizuo turned to face the brunette.

"Izaya is a human. Not a sack of potatoes."

"Ah! Sorry!" He readjusted Izaya so he was holding him against his chest like before. Carrying the raven-haired male far more carefully than he was previously, he began the journey to his own apartment.

Shinra stared after him with an anxious expression. Noticing this, Celty typed out,_ 'Don't worry, he means well.'_

"Yeah, I know."

The bespectacled man let out a long sigh. "Well, I know what we're doing tomorrow, Celty."

The dullahan gave off a questioning aura that only Shinra could sense.

"We're going door shopping. Again."

And on that final note, Shinra faceplanted on the couch, too tired to go back to his room or even take his glasses off.

If Celty had her helmet on, she would've shaken it in exasperation as she returned to her room.

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**A/N: For some reason I decided to lighten the mood a bit in this chapter. I guess I didn't have it in me to make a chapter with Shinra in it a lot completely serious, haha. But from now on I WILL write this story the way I intended for it to be written! Or at least try to.**

**I have the day off of school so I'll try to get a couple more chapters updated today!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

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Izaya awoke in an unfamiliar bed and sat up. Bad move. Every inch of his body screamed in protest, causing him to let out an involuntary cry. The door to the room opened and the last person he expected to see walked in.

"Shizu-chan."

The blonde walked over and readjusted the pillows behind him. "Just lay down for awhile and try not to move too much."

"Why... why are you helping me?" Izaya asked, laying back down.

"I don't know. I just am," he responded truthfully.

The informant rolled to his side, coughing violently. He let out a tiny gasp after each cough, pain radiating through each of his damaged ribs. Shizuo left the room and returned with a glass of water and a couple of pills.

"Shinra told me to give you cold medicine and painkillers," he said and set the items on the table next to the bed once Izaya's coughing fit subsided.

The dark-haired male shook his head. "I don't want any."

Shizuo crouched down beside the bed so he was eye-level with him and said, "But you'll be in pain if you don't take them."

"Does it matter." The reply was completely flat and emotionless, more a statement than a question. It barely even sounded like Izaya's voice.

"Yes."

"... How so?"

"I don't want you to suffer."

Izaya looked surprised for a second, before becoming stoic again. "I know you're lying. You can't fool me."

"You're fooling yourself then, 'cause I'm not lying."

The bed's occupant looked away. "Don't pretend to care," he said quietly and bowed his head so that his hair covered his eyes. "No one cares about me, and I know that, so don't pretend to," he said in a strained voice.

"Izaya...?" Shizuo lifted the black locks off of his face with the back of his hand. The red eyes they'd been concealing were brimming with tears.

"Iza-"

"Don't waste your time on me," the one in question cut the blonde off. The tears spilled over and dampened the pillow beneath his head.

"Hey... Don't say such things. I care about you. I really do."

"Since when?"

"Always, I think," Shizuo said, remembering his conversation with Celty. "I just now realized it."

He gently combed his fingers through Izaya's hair. Continuing to do so, he said, "And you're not wasting my time. I was worried about you so I told Shinra that I'd take care of you the days you need it. I know that you're hurting more than you let on, and I want to help you get better. But the only thing I can really do right now is what Shinra instructed me to."

Izaya cried for a couple minutes, and then wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. The informant winced in pain as he sat up. "Fine, I'll take the medicine." He grabbed the pills and gulped them down with the water.

"Shinra also said you're supposed to take a shower."

"Alright," Izaya said in a defeated tone of voice. He knew there was no point in protesting. The informant threw the blankets off and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His eyes suddenly widened. "Where the hell are my jeans?!" he shouted.

A heavy blush spread across Shizuo's face. "I carried you here with no pants?!"

"So what you're telling me is you carried me, but didn't notice the lack of pants. You really are a protozoan."

The blonde ignored the insult and said, "I guess Shinra had to take them off to put the cast on. It's not like you need them at the moment. I'll be lending you some dry clothes."

"Wait, how am going to shower with the cast?"

"Eh?"

"You're not supposed to get these things wet. Everyone knows that, stupid Shizu-chan!"

"We could put plastic bags on it with rubber bands," he suggested.

"It'll have to do."

Eventually there was a mess of plastic and rubber covering the cast.

"There. All done."

"Alright." Izaya tried to stand on his own, but he crumpled to the ground. Shizuo quickly scooped him up in his arms before he could protest.

"Put me dooooown," he whined childishly, "I can walk on my own."

"No you can't." Shizuo inwardly smiled at how much the raven sounded like his usual self.

Izaya continued to complain until he was set down on top of the toilet in the bathroom.

"Wait while I bring you a clean towel and change of clothes."

Shizuo left and soon returned with the bundle of fabric. "Let me know if you need some sort of help," he said awkwardly before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

As Izaya removed his clothes, he pointedly didn't look down at his chest or stomach, not wanting to see the wounds left behind. He somehow managed to finally get in the shower and turn the water on. Izaya washed his hair, but let the dried blood and dirt rinse off of his body on its own. He was too scared to let anyone, even himself, touch his bare skin.

A couple minutes later he turned the tap off and draped the towel around himself. After pulling the clothes on, he sighed. The shorts and boxers hung loosely around his hips and the t-shirt reached mid-thigh. All in all, Shizuo's clothes were too big for him. At least they were comfortable.

Determined to walk on his own, Izaya left the bathroom and made it halfway down the hall. Then he tripped and fell with a loud crash.

Shizuo raced to where he had fallen and picked him up. "Are you okay?" Concern was written all over his face.

Izaya nodded with a small half-smile.

Shizuo carefully deposited him on the bed. "The bags are still on your leg." He tried to remove the plastic and rubber bands, but ended up tearing them off in frustration.

The blonde noticed something else when he looked up at Izaya apologetically. "Oi, your hair is still wet."

"... Sorry."

"You'll get even more sick at this rate." He grabbed the towel from the bathroom and dried his hair off harder than he intended to.

"Ow!"

Shizuo immediately withdrew the towel. "I'm sorry!"

"Don't worry about it." A smile tugged at the corners of Izaya's lips for the first time that morning.

Shizuo wasn't sure why Izaya was smiling, but he grinned in return.

"You should get some sleep," Shizuo said after putting the towel away.

"If I'm taking up your bed, then where will you sleep?"

"The couch."

"Let me sleep on the couch."

"No, it's better if you sleep in a bed. And besides, it really doesn't bother me."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"Goodnight, Izaya." Shizuo said before heading out to the living room.

Exhaustion washed over the dark-haired informant, and he fell asleep quickly.

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**A/N: Gah I have a feeling this chapter sucks. I'm really tired right now so I can't do anything completely good. I'll try to make the next one better.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters. If I did, Shizaya would be canon.**

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The informant was woken up when he fell out of bed. Shizuo was picking him up when he opened his eyes. "Ow..." Izaya curled up in a ball when he was back on the bed.

"What hurts?"

"Everythiiiiing," he moaned.

"Well, there's some medicine and a glass of water on the table. I'm going to Shinra's to get some crutches for you. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Izaya covered his eyes with his arm to block out the light making the headache worse. "What about your job?"

"I called Tom and told him I'd be taking a few days off."

The raven-haired man felt a wave of guilt. He was keeping Shizuo from working.

"Don't take time off just because of me." There was a short silence. "Shizu-chan?"

The other had already left.

All alone in the room, dark thoughts began to swirl in Izaya's mind._ I'm useless. Weak. A burden. I don't deserve to live. Hell, I don't even __**want**__ to live anymore. This nightmare needs to end. And I'm the only one who can end it all_.

Izaya sat up. He scratched off one of the scabs on his neck and dipped his finger in the blood that welled up. With the bloodied digit, he drew a couple short lines on the table beside the bed. After repeating this process several times, he stopped, satisfied with his work. He gave a small shudder at the feeling of excess blood sliding down his skin.

Hands shaking, he grabbed the bottle of painkillers and unscrewed the lid. Izaya poured out a handful of the pills. He stared at the small capsules in his hand. "Am I really going to do this?" he said aloud.

"Yes," he spoke an answer to his own question. "It's the only way to fix everything."

He stuffed the pills in his mouth and washed them down with some water. Another two handfuls and gulps of water later, a bout of dizziness overtook Izaya. The cup slipped out of his hand and shattered on the wooden floor of the bedroom, and the few pills that remained spilled out of the bottle. They were scattered over Izaya's now-unconscious body.

-Ten Minutes Later-

Shizuo entered the bedroom with the crutches in tow. "Shinra said you can start walking again tomorrow if you want, and- Oh shit!"

He threw the crutches to the side and strode over the bed, shocked by what he saw. Broken glass littered the floor, most of the painkillers were gone, Izaya was passed out holding the bottle, and "I'M SORRY" was written on the table in what Shizuo suspected was blood.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!" he shouted, picking up Izaya for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He sprinted back to the apartment he'd just visited, the only thought in his head, _Why?_

Shizuo would've torn the already damaged door off its hinges if it hadn't been open.

"What happened now?"

"Izaya tried to kill himself."

"What? How?!"

"Painkillers. He took most of the bottle while I was gone." Shizuo sounded extremely calm when he spoke, but on the inside he was panicking.

Shinra checked his pulse and breathing. "He's still alive, but unstable. Lay him down on the bed in the other room and keep an eye on his condition."

He was transferred to the indicated bed and Shizuo pulled up a chair beside it. He grabbed Izaya's hand and held it in his own. It was small and delicate-looking, like the rest of him. Absent-mindedly, he traced a small scar on the side of the hand.

After awhile, the hand twitched and Izaya began to stir. The moment his eyes opened, Shizuo lifted him by the front of the shirt and shook him harshly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!," he roared. "Why would you do this?!"

Izaya grabbed Shizuo's wrist in an attempt to pry him off. The blonde got the point and released him.

For the first time, Izaya grasped the gravity of what he'd tried to do. "I-I don't know. I wasn't myself, and I just..." He trailed off, not knowing whether or not to continue. "I thought I'd be less of a burden if I was dead."

Shizuo picked up the chair he was recently sitting on and threw it at the wall, breaking it to pieces. "Don't you dare say shit like that!" he shouted, turning to face the informant. "Listen, you goddamn louse, don't you ever pull this shit again! Do you know how scared I was?!"

Izaya couldn't bear to look at him. His face and eyes burned with shame and guilt.

"Izaya," Shizuo said in a calm voice. Several minutes had passed and he had finally cooled down.

The raven-haired male bowed his head.

"Izaya, look at me."

"I can't!"

"Yes, you can. I'm not angry anymore. I'm sorry for yelling." Shizuo took Izaya's hand again and held it cautiously. He gently rubbed the back of it with his thumb, noticing that it was trembling.

"You're not a burden, and you shouldn't feel that way. I want to help you, so please let me?"

Izaya didn't say anything or even look up, but instead squeezed Shizuo's hand. The blonde smiled at the gesture. It was the only answer he needed.

Shizuo slipped an arm under Izaya's knees and the other around his back, and easily lifted him off the bed. Izaya wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck and rested his head on his shoulder. For the first time that day, surrounded by the warmth of Shizuo's arms, he felt truly safe.

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**A/N: Hurrhurr just when things started to get better for poor Izaya I decided to mess it up. (Scumbag author is a scumbag). But at least I made the end of the chapter all fluffy! So yeah, I'll try not to do anything bad to Izaya in the next chapter. Keyword: try.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters. Though I'd be willing to sell my soul to own them.**

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Shizuo sat down on the couch, in his own apartment, and was about to set Izaya down beside him when he was stopped.

"Shizu-chan? Do you mind if we just stay like this for awhile?"

"Not at all."

Izaya wasn't quite sure why, but being this close to Shizuo gave him this warm, fluttery feeling in his stomach. The sensation was unusual, but it felt sorta nice. He buried his face in the other's neck and breathed in the scent of cigarettes and something sweet that was distinctively... Shizuo. It left him light-headed, but somehow in a good way.

The informant snaked one arm behind him, initiating a weird half-hug. With their chests pressed together like that, Izaya could feel Shizuo's heartbeat. Closing his eyes, he smiled against his neck and remained that way for a few minutes.

He suddenly realized that this strange embrace had gone on long enough for it to be considered beyond awkward. Izaya let go of Shizuo, who took the message and set him down carefully on the cushions beside him.

Before an uncomfortable silence could form, Shizuo asked "Are you hungry?"

As if on cue, Izaya's stomach growled loudly. Shizuo let out a short chuckle at the noise and got up. "I'll make some soup, alright?"

"Shizu-chan can cook?!" Izaya exclaimed incredulously.

"Yes, I can cook," he replied in a slightly irritated voice.

"How shocking!" the noirette gasped.

"... Just go take a shower or something," Shizuo said through clenched teeth, trying not to get angry.

"But I'm not supposed to walk," Izaya said a bit too innocently.

"Then crawl like the flea you are," Shizuo growled.

"What cruel words, Shizu-chan," he said, his voice dripping with false sorrow.

"I give up! You win! Just stop trying to piss me off!" Shizuo shouted in exasperation.

Izaya laughed loudly and then said, "Fine, I'll stop. It's no fun when you refuse to get mad anyway."

"Well, you probably _should_ take a shower."

"I think I'll pass if it means more plastic bags."

"Ah, I told Shinra about that. He gave me a cast cover for you to use."

"... Fine," Izaya huffed like he was a little child that didn't get his way.

Shizuo carried him to the bathroom and set him down, and then returned the kitchen.

Izaya pulled on the cast cover and began to remove his clothes. Taking of his shirt, he made the mistake of looking down at his chest. The bites and gash burned bright red in his vision. Sudden nausea made his head reel, and it became too much. He dropped to the ground and leaned over the toilet bowl. A second later, Izaya gripped the sides of it and emptied the contents of his stomach into the water. Having not eaten for nearly a whole day, it was mostly bile. Even when there was nothing left for his body to expel, he continued to choke and retch. After a whole five minutes of that, he coughed up a bit more bile and then stopped, throat burning.

Izaya was aware that Shizuo had crouched on the floor next to him, but still jumped and shrieked, "Don't touch me!" as soon as a hand made contact with the unprotected skin of his back. Shizuo flinched and quickly pulled back his hand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that..." Izaya trailed off, feeling ashamed of his fear.

The blonde reached out and patted his back slowly. "It's alright. You okay now? Do you want some mouthwash?"

Izaya nodded sluggishly.

While he rinsed out his mouth, he noticed that Shizuo was still resting a hand on his back. The confusing part was why it didn't bother him. In fact, it made his heart beat faster.

"Dinner should be ready when you get done showering," he said, walking away.

Izaya got up, finished undressing, and stepped into the shower. Standing under the hot water, he placed a hand over his heart. He closed his eyes and pictured Shizuo's smile, not a pissed-off grin of sorts, but his real smile, which he'd only seen a few times. The thumping in his chest sped up. _This doesn't make any sense. I can't care about one person more than another, I love all humans equally!_

_ But you don't consider Shizuo human, do you?_ a voice resounded smugly from the back of his mind.

_ I don't understand this feeling. For heaven's sake I feel like a demented schoolgirl. But really... Is it possible...?_ Izaya closed his eyes and tilted his head upward to let water land on his face. _Could I really be falling in love with him?_

* * *

The blonde slumped on the couch once all the ingredients for the soup had been thrown in the pot. He lit a cigarette and soon blew out a puff of smoke. Remembering the events that had just taken place, he sighed. No matter how much better Izaya got or how quickly he recovered, there would always be that fear. That one wound that would still be there long after the others had healed. It actually might never heal. And it made him so _damn angry_ that he could only watch as Izaya went through all this pain. Shizuo wanted to comfort him, but how could he when a slight touch scared him half to death?!

Shizuo's anger had reached it's boiling point. He stood abruptly. A snapped cigarette was dropped to the ground and snuffed out, and shortly after, a toaster flew into the wall at full speed. Two lamps, a blender, and a microwave followed. Shizuo purposely tried to hold back by throwing objects a normal person could throw, but failed when he threw the coffee table. As the pile of debris lay smoking on the ground, the ex-bartender returned to his seat. He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled. _I need to calm down. Do something productive... Like clean up the glass in my room. Yeah, that works._

He picked up the shards with only a paper towel, not noticing nor caring about the cuts formed on his hands. The pills and empty bottle joined the glinting fragments in the trash, since Shizuo didn't want to even think about them. About to leave the room, he stopped when he spotted something red in his peripheral vision: the message Izaya had written on the table. He grabbed the edge of the wooden piece of furniture and sent it flying through the doorway and into the same wall the other hurled objects had struck.

With all proof that Izaya had tried to kill himself gone, Shizuo let himself relax. He looked to the side and noticed Izaya standing in the doorway. "Izaya! You shouldn't walk! Lay down, lay down!" Shizuo hurriedly lifted up the informant and set him on the bed. "I'll bring you some soup."

The blonde returned a minute or so later holding two bowls with steam rising from them. He handed Izaya one of them and then turned to leave. "Wait!" Izaya said before he could leave the room. "Please stay?"

Shizuo turned around, surprised. He'd never a heard the noirette sound unsure of himself before. He grinned and sat down on the edge of the bed, then looked over at Izaya. The informant was staring down at his soup like it was the most interesting thing in the world, trying to hide the red tint of his cheeks.

_Heh, he looks so cute when he's blushing_. Shizuo placed a spoonful of soup in his mouth. Realizing what he had just thought, he almost swallowed the spoon. He coughed and gasped for breath as the broth went down the wrong pipe. _What was that?!_

"Shizu-chan? Are you okay?"

Shizuo looked at Izaya with the expression of a deer in the headlights. "Yeah! Never been better!" Noticing his skeptical stare, he shouted, "I didn't think anything weird!"

Izaya smirked. "I never said you did."

Shizuo's face heated up. "W-Well I know you were thinking it!"

The raven-haired male snickered, "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Shizu-chan~"

The rest of the meal was silent, but neither of the rooms occupants minded. Izaya nearly dropped the empty bowl on the floor by trying to set it on a non-existent table. "Eh? Where's the table?"

"Not important!" the blonde interjected.

"Alright then," he replied, knowing very well what had most likely become of the table. He handed the empty bowl to Shizuo. "Thank you for the meal," Izaya said with a grateful smile.

"Uh, no problem," Shizuo scratched the back of his head and looked at the ground. He grabbed some clothes out of the drawer and then left, pausing to say a quick, "Goodnight," in the process.

Shizuo dropped the dishes in the sink and changed clothes before laying down on the couch. _Dammit, this is bad, really bad,_ he thought as he pulled a blanket over himself. _This would never work out... He hates me, and we're both guys... And even if that didn't matter, I'd end up hurting him... So I can't let this happen... I can't let myself fall for Izaya._

* * *

**A/N: Ahhh I'm really sorry for not updating the past couple days. I didn't have any time on Thursday, and then on Friday, I got so caught up in watching pwnagemcgee stuff that I didn't realize I'd forgotten post what I wrote earlier until I woke up this morning. So then I decided that I didn't like what I'd already written, so I scrapped it and started this chapter over. Derp.**

**In news pertaining to the story itself, hurrhurrhurr the Shizaya-ness has begun. I'll try to update tomorrow. I think I'll change my updates to every other day because every day is too much pressure on my weak mind, haha.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters. If I did this wouldn't be called ****fan****fiction.**

* * *

Drenched in cold sweat, Izaya woke up screaming.

A rather disheveled-looking Shizuo dashed through the doorway. "Izaya! What's wrong?!"

Izaya sat up and hunched over, holding the blankets tightly. His skin was perspiring excessively and several shades paler than usual. "... n-no... hurts... s-stop..." he muttered in fractured phrases, eyes wild with panic. Izaya's mind was clearly somewhere else entirely.

"Izaya! Snap out of it!" Shizuo yelled. He grabbed the informant by the shoulders and shook him lightly.

Izaya looked up and stared at him blankly. His crimson eyes were wide with fear.

Shizuo moved his right hand from Izaya's shoulder and rubbed the arm comfortingly. He made sure that his fingers barely touched the part where one of the men had grabbed him. There were dark bruises on that spot. Izaya gradually calmed down.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"...Yeah."

Shizuo sat on the edge of the bed and held one of Izaya's clammy hands. He gave it a gentle squeeze and said, "Whenever you're ready."

"...It was when that guy was beating me up. It hurt, but I wasn't really scared. Then he cut me with a knife and it tore my shirt. I thought he would kill me then and there but instead he started biting me..." Izaya was beginning to speak faster. "It was painful and I wanted him to stop, but I couldn't say anything! I couldn't think or move! The only thing I could do was sit there and watch!" His words were frenzied and jammed together. Izaya was unconsciously holding Shizuo's hand tighter with each syllable, and had it in a death-grip by now. "A-and th-then... he p-pulled down m-my jeans... and he... h-he..."

Tears rolled down Izaya's face rapidly and his words dissolved into sobs that shook his entire body. "It hurt s-so b-b-badly!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It'll be okay... Calm down..." Shizuo said in a soothing voice and combed Izaya's silky hair with his fingers. He wanted to hold the noirette, but didn't want to scare him with too much physical contact, especially after the dream he just had.

Izaya sobbed loudly for several moments before choking out, "I'm s-scared... W-what if they c-come b-back...? What if they d-do this again?!"

"I won't let that happen. Those bastards won't hurt you on my watch." The blonde grabbed a tissue from the tissue box on the floor and gently wiped the tears from Izaya's face. "So don't be scared anymore."

"You don't know h-how much th-that means to me... Thank you..." Izaya grabbed Shizuo's other hand and held it tightly. Shizuo leaned forward and rested their heads together. "No need to thank me," he said, smiling. A couple more tears slid down Izaya's face before a ghost of a smile touched his lips and he leaned his head back against the blonde's. They stayed like that for a good ten minutes, and then Izaya broke the silence with a small yawn.

_He makes a cute little noise when he yawns._ Shizuo blushed and shoved that thought to the back of his mind.

Luckily, the raven-haired male didn't seem to notice. "Hey, are you still tired?" Izaya pulled his head away from Shizuo's slightly to nod, and then moved it back to where it was before.

Shizuo laughed softly at the gesture. Izaya smiled groggily. _Shizu-chan has a nice laugh. I bet it's really beautiful when he's laughing loudly._

"Maybe you should try sleeping?"

"I don't think I'm brave enough to fall asleep again..."

"How about I stay here until you do."

"You wouldn't mind...?"

"Of course not."

Izaya settled down onto the pillows, but still held one of Shizuo's hands. It only took five minutes for his breathing to become shallow and steady, and his grip on the blond's hand relaxed.

"Goodnight, Izaya-kun," Shizuo whispered. After a moment of uncertainty, he raised Izaya's hand and softly brushed his lips across the back of it. Shizuo set the hand down on the sleeping man's chest and then left the room.

* * *

**A/N: I know this chapter is short, but I had this idea in my head for awhile now and just wanted to get it down on paper. Computer screen. Whatever.**

**Ah, the fluff at the end made me feel all warm. In my uterus. Too much information. See, this is why I shouldn't write author's notes at 4:30 in the morning. **

**Pfft anyway, I'll see if I can get another chapter posted later today. Thank you, everyone who's reading this! I didn't expect anyone to read this. Like at all. So I'm really happy now. And happy author equals more fluff. And angst *evil laughter***

**Okay I'll stop rambling in awkwardly short phrases now.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

Izaya awoke when he felt a cool hand on his forehead. He opened his mouth to address the owner of the hand, but only a meek whispering noise came out. He tried to speak again, but found that he literally couldn't. On top of that, his skin felt like it was on fire. Searing pain slashed through Izaya's throat and stomach when he put all his willpower into saying the word, "Painful."

"I know, I'm sorry. You're really burning up. Here, put this under your tongue." Shizuo removed his hand and gave Izaya a thermometer. "I'll be right back."

He returned with a damp washcloth and set it on Izaya's brow. He took the thermometer out and read the numbers on the display aloud. "Forty degrees Celsius... Forty degrees?! Holy shit! I'm calling Shinra!"

The noirette merely groaned in response and unfolded the washcloth so it covered his whole face.

"Oi, don't put it over your mouth or nose. You could suffocate," Shizuo said irritably as the phone rang. He flicked the bottom half the cloth onto the top. When Shinra picked up the phone, the blonde headed to the other room to give Izaya some peace.

"There has to be something I can do!" Izaya could hear Shizuo yelling through the wall. "You expect me to do nothing?!" Something heavy smashed into a wall in the living room.

A few seconds later, Shizuo strode back into the bedroom, looking rather murderous. His expression changed to one of concern as his eyes fell on Izaya again. "He said you'll have to just let the virus run its course... Worst fucking advice I ever heard..."

Shizuo had pulled in a chair earlier, and now plopped down on it. He noticed Izaya trying to sit up and quickly helped him.

The informant coughed and cleared his throat several times before speaking. "My throat hurts," he said in a painful-sounding, raspy voice. "And my stomach."

"Do you want some medicine?"

Izaya shook his head violently. The last experience he'd had with pills wasn't at all pleasant.

"Ah, that was a dumb question."

"Protozoan."

"Flea."

Neither of the insults held any meaning anymore. They were simply said out of habit, and maybe a bit out of some search for normality in this whole situation.

Shaking his head so harshly had proved to be a bad idea. A horrible, nauseous feeling formed in Izaya's stomach. He swallowed, but it only got stronger. "I think I'm going to throw up."

Shizuo carried the raven-haired male to the bathroom and set him on the floor. A couple seconds passed before he turned and got sick. Pity filled the blonde's gaze, and this only angered Izaya. He wished he could shout, "Don't look at me like that!" or "I don't want your pity!"

Unable to say anything, or even support himself, Izaya collapsed backwards onto the floor. Resting against the cool tiles gave him an idea. A few sharps yanks later, he had pulled his shirt up and over his head. The white tiles of the bathroom were like ice under his feverish skin. He closed his eyes and spread his arms.

"Izaya? What the hell are you doing?"

Izaya suddenly realized what a stupid idea this was. _Damn this sickness. It's making me act completely idiotic and weak._ His face turned red and he started to pull his shirt back on.

"Y'know, if you wanted to cool off you could've just taken a shower."

The noirette almost facepalmed. _Why didn't I think of that?! _He shakily got up and nodded. Stepping into the shower, he turned the tap on and let cool water rinse over him. Suddenly Izaya realized that he hadn't bothered to remove his clothes. He scrambled to get out of the shower, but slipped in the process. Shizuo ran forward and caught him by the arm before he could hit the ground, but got half soaked in the process.

"You're really out of it today, aren't you?" the blonde said in an amused voice.

"I guess so."

"Well, since I'm already soaking wet..." Shizuo trailed off and also stepped into the shower fully clothed.

Izaya stared at him with a surprised expression for a second and then said, "You never do what I expect you will, Shizu-chan." He let out a random laugh.

Shizuo grinned and asked, "What's so funny?"

"This whole situation is just so unexpected... I never would've predicted it in a million years!" He continued to laugh. Not a psychotic or evil laugh, but an honest gesture of amusement. The ex-bartender found the sound contagious and joined in. Soon, both men were clutching their stomachs and struggling to breathe through the laughter.

The pain spreading through Izaya's whole body was a barely noticeable ache in the background. In the midst of his laughter he noticed Shizuo's laugh. If he wasn't already laughing, he would've smiled. _I was right. His laugh is beautiful. _He moved slightly, which caused his feet to fly out from under him. Izaya fell against the blonde, who wrapped his arms around the raven-haired male's waist to support him. They stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments before Shizuo smiled and said, "You really need to be more careful."

"But won't Shizu-chan always be there to catch me?" The words came out of Izaya's mouth before he could comprehend what his mind was telling him to say. He blushed and looked at the floor. Izaya was shocked when Shizuo held him tighter with one arm and ruffled his dark hair with the other hand. Shizuo smiled wider at the shorter man and said, "Of course!"

The fluttering in Izaya's stomach grew stronger and he felt compelled to hug the other. So he did. Izaya tentatively slid his arms around Shizuo. With his head resting on Shizuo's chest, he could hear his heart rate increase, just as his own did. The blond didn't return the hug, but also didn't push him away. Izaya wasn't sure whether it was from the virus or from the embrace, but either way, a wave of dizziness made it necessary for him to let go of Shizuo and sit down on the floor of the shower. Shizuo followed suit and sat across from him.

"There's something I've been wondering for a long time now," Izaya said.

"What?"

"How did you become so strong?"

"It started when I was a kid..." Shizuo told Izaya the whole story. From there he went on to talk about his life, and then Izaya spoke for awhile. Neither of them noticed, but as the spoke, they inched closer and closer to one another. The room eventually fell silent, except for the still-running water of the shower. Izaya and Shizuo's shoulders were now touching, as well as their legs.

"Heh, this has been a waste of water," the blonde said.

"Yeah. We should probably get out."

Izaya grabbed the hand Shizuo offered and was pulled to his feet. He protested when he was scooped up in Shizuo's arms for the umpteenth time, but the other wasn't listening.

"Feeling any better?" Shizuo asked after he and Izaya had both changed into dry clothes.

"Yeah~"

"Are you hungry?"

"A little bit."

Without saying anything else, Shizuo walked to the kitchen. A couple of minutes later, he returned with two bowls. "Leftovers," he explained, handing one to Izaya.

"Thank you~"

Shizuo stayed in the room this time without Izaya asking him to, which made the dark-haired man smile slightly. It was surreal, eating lunch next to the person he once hated more than anything, but he was glad for it. Because in that moment, Izaya felt that he could no longer live without this wonderful feeling of complete safety that he'd been deprived of for so long.

* * *

**A/N: Gah stupid chapter, why must you be a day late?! Oh well. Better late than never, I suppose. I know this is mostly pointless fluff, but I'm trying to work out some writer's block, so just bear with me. I promise there will be actual plot in the next chapter. Or maybe chapter after the next one. Basically, sometime soon.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

A few hours after he ate, Izaya's throat began to hurt again. Shizuo made him a cup of tea with honey in an effort to help alleviate the pain. The informant carefully accepted the cup, which was warm to the touch. He took a sip before setting it on the chair now replacing the bedside table. "Shizu-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I don't really know. But I'm sure there's some reason behind it."

"... So that means... you don't... hate me anymore?" Izaya asked hopefully.

"And what if I said I did hate you?" Shizuo replied jokingly.

Izaya's eyes went wide, and he bowed his head to hide the hurt that filled the crimson pools. A lump formed in his throat and he tried to blink away tears pricking at his eyes. That one simple phrase hurt. It hurt a lot. He'd come to truly care about Shizuo, more than he'd ever cared about anyone. Hearing that made his heart break in two. "...I see..." he said, his voice wavering slightly.

"...Izaya? What's wrong?" Shizuo took his usual spot on the edge of the bed and reached for Izaya's hand. However, the raven-haired male pulled it away. Before Shizuo could say anything else, Izaya shook slightly as he tried to suppress a sob. A tear slid down his face and dangled on his chin before falling onto the blanket.

"H-hey, don't cry..." Shizuo said in a worried, confused tone of voice. "What's the matter...?" He tried to hold Izaya's hand a second time, but was met with the same resistance as before.

"I... I d-didn't think th-that you h-hated me anymore... but... I guess I w-was wrong..." Izaya pressed his wrists to his eyes.

"Izaya... I didn't mean that seriously... I was kidding... So don't cry..." Shizuo gently pried the informant's hands from his face and lifted his chin. He was shocked to see tears flowing from Izaya's eyes and an expression of complete heartbreak on his face. "Don't cry..." he repeated softly, guilt and helplessness in his amber-colored eyes. _I did this. Without even meaning to, I hurt him. I should know better than to mess with someone as unstable as he is. What the hell is wrong with me?_ Shizuo placed his hands on Izaya's cheeks and leaned in so their foreheads were touching. He brushed away tears with his thumbs and gave Izaya a gentle, reassuring smile. "I don't hate you, Izaya-kun. You're one of the few people who isn't afraid of me. And I really care about you."

"Really...?"

"Of course. So you don't need to cry anymore."

Izaya sniffled and weakly smiled in return. "I guess I sorta overreacted... Sorry..."

"Don't worry about it. I never should've said that in the first place." Shizuo kept their heads pressed together for a few more seconds before leaning back. He handed Izaya the tea and said, "You should probably drink this before it gets cold."

The noirette placed the cup against his lips and then hesitated. He looked at Shizuo and said, "You don't have to sit there. There's room next to me." The blonde looked surprised, so he stuttered out, "I-I mean if y-you w-want to. You d-don't need t-to." Izaya blushed and chugged the tea to prevent himself from saying anything else weird. Over the edge of the cup, he saw Shizuo stand. Not much later, he felt a slight dip in the mattress beside him. He set the cup down and glanced to the side. The blush on his face got deeper when he realized how close Shizuo was. Izaya jumped when he felt a hand on his.

Shizuo withdrew his hand with a quick, "I'm sorry!"

A small smile on his lips, Izaya grabbed the hand Shizuo had pulled back and squeezed it slightly. "It's okay, you just startled me." He didn't let go of the hand, but relaxed his grip so he was holding it loosely.

They sat in silence for awhile, each simply enjoying the other's presence. Eventually, Izaya began to drift off. He slowly leaned into the pillows and awoke with a start as soon as his head touched them. The blonde sitting next to him chuckled and ruffled his hair.

"You still awake there? Maybe you should get some sleep."

Izaya slumped against Shizuo and drowsily encircled him with his arms. He nuzzled the ex-bartender's chest and murmured, "... Yeah..."

His face a light shade of pink, Shizuo stroked the back of Izaya's head. He bent his neck slightly and whispered, "Goodnight, Izaya-kun," in the raven-haired male's ear. Realizing that he was already asleep, he gently pushed Izaya off and pulled the blanket over his unconscious form. He combed his fingers through the informant's dark hair and turned off the lights before leaving.

Sitting down on the couch, Shizuo put his head in his hands. I don't know what to do... I've already gotten too close to pull away... His train of thought was interrupted by some incoherent shouting from the bedroom. He raced there and discovered that Izaya was talking, no, scratch that; _yelling_ in his sleep. Rolling his eyes, Shizuo knelt beside the bed.

"Oi, flea. Be quiet. No one can sleep with all that noise."

"Shut uuuuuup," he whined, throwing the blanket off angrily.

Shizuo smirked. "Sorry, sorry. Just calm down."

Izaya muttered something indecipherable before falling silent. He didn't say anything else.

Laughing quietly, Shizuo returned the blanket to its previous position. As he smoothed down locks of Izaya's hair that were sticking up at odd angles, he got a good look at the sleeping informant.

Izaya was completely motionless except for his shallow, steady breathing, and the moonlight filtering through the window made his pale skin appear to be glowing. He wore a serene look and a faint smile, looking completely at peace.

_He looks like an angel,_ Shizuo thought, unintentionally leaning closer until his face was hovering just above Izaya's.

_There's no point in denying it anymore... I'm loving him more with each passing day... His lips are so close to mine, and they look so soft... He would never know..._

Shizuo moved even closer, his lips nearly touching Izaya's. That was where he stopped.

_But it wouldn't be real. _

He leaned back a bit and lightly kissed Izaya's forehead, his lips lingering on the smooth skin for several moments.

_A mutual love could never exist between us. _

The blonde sat next to the bed and stared at the floor.

_I'll only ever be a friend to him._

Tears silently made their way down Shizuo's face. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he last cried. The shining droplets continued to fall from his eyes, but he didn't make a single sound.

_**And it hurts.**_

* * *

**A/N: I don't even know how many days late this chapter is. Four? Five? Oh well. ****So yeah, everyone cried in this chapter. Including me, since I cried while writing it. There may or may not be plot in the next chapter. It's 50/50. I'll get it posted ASAP, but I don't know when that will be. Sorry, life is just ahdofnaochsofjepcbaygoebf right now, so I'll do my best!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

When Shizuo woke up, there was a blanket over him and a pillow behind his head, though he was sitting against the wall of the bedroom._ I guess I fell asleep here. But the blanket... Ah, that explains it. _Izaya was no longer on the bed, and the crutches were gone too.

"Um, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo looked over and saw Izaya poking his head through the doorway. "Good morning Izaya."

"I was going to make breakfast, but I couldn't find the toaster. Or the microwave. So I made cereal."

"Oh. You didn't have to do that," the blonde said, feeling slightly guilty about the missing kitchen appliances. They weren't really missing, just laying in a heap on the living room floor.

"No it's fine! You deserve a break after taking care of me so much," Izaya said cheerfully. "Although... there were a couple... complications... because of the crutches. Sorry there's milk on the floor."

Shizuo didn't really care though. He was just glad to see the noirette smiling so much. "You're in a good mood today," he said, sitting down at the table and making a mental note to clean up the milk puddle later.

"Yeah~ I don't feel as sick anymore!" Izaya was sitting in the other chair and swinging his one fully functional leg happily like a child.

"You can go to work today, Shizu-chan."

"You're sure?"

"Mmh-hmm! I can take care of myself now that I'm not so ill."

"There's food in the fridge and the cabinets. And don't leave the apartment!" Shizuo said from the front entrance after he'd changed clothes and such.

"Alright. Goodbye~" Izaya waved from the chair. As soon as the door closed, he dropped the act. Truth was, he was more sick than yesterday, but he needed to be alone for awhile. Having Shizuo there would make it impossible to sort out all these weird, confusing emotions. He threw out the cereal, not really hungry, and then walked with the assistance of the crutches to the bathroom.

Standing in front of the mirror, he pulled off the borrowed shirt and risked looking at his now exposed upper half. His stomach didn't protest to the sight, which he was glad for. Sighing, he gripped the edges of the sink and looked down at the white material. _It's clear to me that I have a small crush on Shizu-chan... Okay maybe a bit more than a small crush... Damn... Who am I kidding. I'm quickly falling in love._ Izaya's face felt several times warmer after that thought, but he knew it was the truth. _But... _He looked at his reflection somberly. _He could never feel the same. I'm considered a psychopath by most people. And I'm not even attractive in the slightest. I'm really pale, and my hair contrasts with my skin in the most unpleasant way. I guess I could dye my hair, but that wouldn't change the tone of my skin. Red eyes aren't really normal either. Even if I got colored contacts, it wouldn't be a permanent solution. Maybe I'd have a small chance if I lost some weight? Yeah, that might help. _

Izaya was already a bit too thin by normal standards, but his warped state of mind prevented him from seeing that.

_ I can't do much exercise with this damn cast on my leg, so I'll have to eat less. I don't really mind. _

Of course at that moment, his stomach growled. He wished he'd eaten the cereal.

_I guess it can't be helped. I'll just ignore it._

Izaya pulled the shirt on again.

_This better work. _

He plopped down on the couch and thought that taking a nap would help him ignore the hunger. Apparently his body decided that he needed the extra sleep badly, because he slept until Shizuo got back.

"Hey, Izaya. You shouldn't sleep on the couch, it's bad for you," Shizuo said, crouching down next to the piece of furniture and petting the informant's dark hair.

"But you always do it, Shizu-chan," Izaya replied blearily, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. He laid back down after a few seconds, and gave the blonde a tired but pure and innocent smile.

_He's so cute! Who wouldn't fall in love with an expression like that?_ Trying desperately to ignore the embarrassing thoughts, Shizuo scooped up the raven-haired male in his arms. Izaya nuzzled up against him, getting as close as possible. He made a small humming noise and smiled again when Shizuo held him closer.

_Heh, he's sorta like a kitten. He's so warm and small and utterly adorable... I wanna just hold him forever._

Shizuo walked to the bedroom and sat on the bed, still cradling the half-asleep informant in his arms. He set Izaya on his lap, just to see what would happen. Shizuo was surprised when he was hugged tightly, Izaya's arms resting on his back.

"...Shizu-chan..." Izaya mumbled into his neck, "...Don't go..."

"I won't leave, Izaya-kun," Shizuo said, cautiously wrapping his arms around him and returning the hug.

Izaya fell asleep soon after, but Shizuo stayed true to his word and remained there. He kicked his shoes off and pulled the blanket over both of them, still embracing him. He'd never cuddled anyone before, but now he understood why people did it. He felt so comfortable and at ease holding Izaya against him. The warmth and steady breathing of his companion made him feel at peace, though his heart felt like it was about to burst.

"I love you..." Shizuo whispered those three words so quietly that Izaya wouldn't have heard them even if he was awake. He bowed his head to plant a kiss on Izaya's cheek before closing his eyes and drifting into unconsciousness.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah I don't know what to say. What _does_ one say after a chapter like that? 'Cause I have no clue.**

**Well, sorry this is late, that seems to be a recurring incident with me. I'm doing my best here, though!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

Izaya woke up before Shizuo did, which was probably a good thing because his face flushed bright red when he realized the blonde was still holding him. He tried to sit up, but Shizuo held him tighter in his sleep. Tight enough to make breathing difficult. "Shizu-chaaaaaaan," the raven-haired male whined, poking Shizuo's cheek. "Let gooooooooo."

His amber eyes opened to give whoever was disturbing his slumber a glare, but brightened when he saw Izaya. Blushing. _What?_

Shizuo quickly released Izaya and scooted off the bed, mumbling something about breakfast. His blush was even darker than Izaya's. _Dammit, that was really embarrassing._

He set a frying pan on the stove and pulled out a carton of eggs. Making a couple servings of scrambled eggs wasn't exactly the most difficult thing in the world, so his thoughts were somewhere else. _I can't let him find out how I feel. He would go back to hating me again, and I don't think I could take that. But... He'll eventually figure it out. I'm surprised he hasn't already. Maybe the best option is to have him go back to his own apartment in Shinjuku..._ He looked up when he heard Izaya walk through the doorway. The informant noticed Shizuo looking at him, and smiled brightly. The smile gave Shizuo a warm feeling in his stomach and he couldn't help but to grin in return. _No, I don't think I could do that. I guess I'll just have to enjoy being near him while it lasts. _

While Shizuo ate breakfast, Izaya just pushed the food around on his plate. He took a bite every so often, but still only ate about a fourth of the scrambled eggs he was served. He was still "eating" when Shizuo left for work. Izaya felt guilty throwing away food the blonde had cooked for him, but thought it was necessary.

It was rather boring without Shizuo around, so Izaya watched TV for most of the day. He was tempted to eat something for lunch since he hadn't eaten dinner the previous night and barely ate earlier. _No,_ he thought to himself fiercely, _I need to stick to my plan if I want any results! I eat at breakfast and dinner while Shizuo is there and skip lunch entirely! It's the only way I can lose weight quickly. If I really want Shizuo to love me, then I'll ignore the hunger. _

And so he did. All the way up until the bodyguard got back at around ten o'clock. "Sorry I'm late, Izaya."

"Don't worry about it, I don't mind."

"Did you already eat?"

"Yeah," he lied. "Sorry." _Ah, I know I shouldn't have done that, but if I cut back to one meal a day, I'll get the desired results quicker._

"It's probably a good thing that you did. Eating late supposedly gives you bad dreams."

_That's one thing I certainly don't need any more of, _Izaya thought with a shudder.

"Well, I think I'll turn in for the night. Goodnight Shizu-chan." Once under the covers, Izaya pressed his face into the pillow and sighed happily. _It smells like him. _He stared at the sheets for a while. _It's sorta weird. I never imagined that I'd be able to love someone, but now I've fallen for that protozoan. I hope that someday he'll feel the same, but it's not likely. I'm pretty sure Shizuo isn't gay. But I'm glad to have him as a friend right now. _

He fell asleep not long after these thoughts.

* * *

It was a sunny day in Ikebukero, and Izaya was outside for the first time in several days. He was walking on the crutches with Shizuo beside him, enjoying the pleasant weather. Suddenly Izaya stopped.

"What's wrong, Izaya?" Shizuo asked.

"We should leave," he stated simply, hiding the panic forming inside him.

"Why? Is something wrong?" The blonde looked concerned now.

"Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it. We need to lea-" he cut himself off and let out a small yelp of terror when he spotted a familiar figure headed straight towards them. It was the man who raped him. Shizuo noticed the fear in Izaya's eyes and stepped in front of Izaya protectively. He glared at the approaching man.

"Move," the man said roughly, "It's Izaya we want, not you, so don't get yourself involved."

"Fuck off. If you want to get to him, you'll have to go through me."

The man sighed before grinning evilly. "You brought this upon yourself, then." He pulled out a gun and pressed it to Shizuo's head, right between his eyes. Five gunshots rang out. While everyone in the area panicked and ran, Izaya could only stand there in shock. Shizuo fell back, dead before he hit the ground. No one, not even Shizuo Heiwajima, could survive five bullets directly to the head. As blood flowed down his face and pooled on the concrete, the only thoughts running through Izaya's mind were, _It's my fault. He died because of me. He's gone and it's my fault. It's all my fault._ Tears poured down his face and he dropped to the ground beside the unmoving body of the man he loved. He caressed Shizuo's bloodied face before sobs began to shake him. Izaya screamed Shizuo's name, his real name, at the top of his lungs, and then buried his face in the dead man's chest, crying uncontrollably. The last things he felt were the crushing grief of losing the person he loved the most, and the barrel of the gun being pressed to his neck.

* * *

**A/N: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT HAVE I DONE?! This isn't the last chapter though. I think. No, I should at least tie the story off... BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL. This is just... I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Asdfghjklmvxbn review if you want, but OHMYGODPLEASEDON'TKILLME.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

Shizuo was startled awake when he heard a scream of "SHIZUO" from the bedroom, and then a lot of loud sobbing. He ran to the bedroom and sat on the unoccupied side of the bed. Izaya was still asleep, so there wasn't anything he could do. He was afraid to touch him, because it would only make things worse if he was having another dream about the incident. _But why did he say my name?_

The dark-haired man awoke with a jolt and sat up quickly. He continued to sob even once he had woken up.

"Izaya...?" The blonde said quietly, not wanting to alarm him. Izaya turned toward him and stared at him fearfully. Seeing the informant so upset broke Shizuo's heart. He spread his arms and gave Izaya a look of sympathy, offering a hug if he needed one.

And he did. Now more than ever. "Sh-Shizuo!" Izaya shouted and wrapped his arms around him tightly. He clung to him like his life depended on it and sobbed heavily.

Shizuo had never seen him cry so hard before. There were tears stinging his own eyes as he gently hugged Izaya. "It's okay," he said soothingly, "It was only a dream." He rubbed small circles on Izaya's back, trying to comfort him. "It's okay, it's okay..." Shizuo whispered, holding Izaya closer as the sobs became only sniffles and tears fell silently. "What happened...?" he asked, uncertain if Izaya would want to explain.

"He... He killed y-you. It was s-so real... I th-thought you were actually d-dead... I d-don't want you t-to die...!" Izaya's words trailed off into more sobbing and he gripped the fabric of Shizuo's shirt.

Shizuo was rather taken aback. _He's this upset over a dream about me dying? That's the last thing I would've expected. Is he faking it? _He looked down at Izaya trembling in his arms. This definitely wasn't a joke or an act. _I can't believe he's so upset... I feel really bad now. _

"Hey... it takes a lot to kill me y'know, so I won't be dead any time soon," he said, nuzzling the raven hair. "So don't cry anymore..." Shizuo said softly. He broke the hug to wipe tears from the other's pale face.

Shizuo pulled Izaya into another tender embrace, and they remained that way for several minutes. Izaya eventually stopped crying and calmed down completely. He released the fistfuls of fabric he'd bunched up in his hands and let his arms fall to his sides. When he shifted his position so his head was pressed against Shizuo's chest, the blonde held him more securely and stroked his hair. Izaya closed his eyes. He listened to Shizuo's steady breathing and strangely fast heartbeat, breathed in his scent, and focused on the warmth radiating from him. The image of him laying dead on the sidewalk suddenly made no sense, and was pushed to the very back of Izaya's mind. Shizuo was warm, and breathing, and very much alive, and that was all that mattered to him in that moment.

The shorter man pulled away and looked into the taller's amber eyes. "Shizuo... I think... No, I _know_... that..." He trailed off and blushed. "You're a good person... Thank you for caring about me." Izaya craned his neck and pressed his lips to Shizuo's forehead. They both blushed lightly and smiled.

_That was strange, _Izaya thought to himself. _Did I almost say... 'I love you'?_

Shizuo lifted Izaya off the bed and carried him to the living room. He set him on the couch and then sat next to him. Izaya gave the blonde an inquisitive look.

"Well, I figured neither of us really wanted to go back to sleep, so we might as well watch TV or something."

The spent a good twenty minutes arguing over what movie to watch, since there was nothing good on TV at two in the morning. Finally they picked a movie both of them liked.

About halfway through the movie, Shizuo slumped against Izaya, his head resting on the informant's shoulder. "Eh... Shizu-chan?" He said, his face reddening. _Oh, he fell asleep. He looks sorta... adorable this way. Heh, I wonder..._ Izaya poked Shizuo's nose. He giggled childishly when Shizuo flinched and batted him away. The raven-haired male had the nerve to do it again. This time Shizuo bear hugged him. Izaya let out a squeak of surprise as he was trapped against the blonde's chest. "Well I've been in worse situations..." he muttered to himself. He knew better than to struggle, or else he'd have the air crushed out of him. Instead he breathed out a sigh and closed his eyes. Maybe everything would be alright now.

* * *

**A/N: This actually wasn't the original ending. I was planning on changing the category to tragedy and adding character death to the list of warnings and all that jazz. To be honest, I was half asleep when I wrote and edited the previous chapter, so I didn't notice how awkwardly placed that time gap was, or how rushed and simple the end was. But then I read reviews mentioning how it might be a dream, and I decided I liked that idea better than the "Bad End" I had in mind. This isn't the last chapter, I'm going to keep going with this story. But now I'm not sure whether or not to do a bad ending of some sort (not necessarily character death like I'd originally planned). Gah conflicted. And sorry this is kinda short, I wanted to get it posted today so I wouldn't feel guilty if I didn't update this week.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

Both Shizuo and Izaya were woken up by Shizuo's phone ringing on the table. He irritably flipped it open and stood up. He wore a look of confusion as an unfamiliar female voice spoke.

The girl on the other end of the line said something that made Shizuo's eyes go wide with shock. "...What?!" He picked up an unfortunate lamp, as well as the table it had been sitting on, and threw it at the wall.

More speaking from the caller.

"Yes, I'm fine..."

Shizuo said a faltering, "Goodbye,"' before hanging up. He sat down on the couch with a shocked expression, as if whatever the caller said had just sunk in.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya reached over and uncertainly placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "What happened?"

"Kasuka... was in a car accident. He got knocked out... And he won't wake up."

The informant bit his lip, not knowing what to say. He knew how much Shizuo cared about his younger brother, and could tell he was crushed by the news.

"He's in bad shape too. They don't know if he'll... make it through the night. Even if he does live... He'll be in a coma..." Shizuo bowed his head, hiding the tears in his eyes.

Izaya sat beside him silently for a few moments. Then he moved his arm across Shizuo's chest and the other behind his shoulders, hugging him loosely. He leaned his head against the other's, ignoring the way Shizuo's shoulder dug into his neck. Something wet made contact with Izaya's arm, startling him. He let go of the blonde and turned him so that they were facing each other. Seeing Shizuo cry made him draw in a sharp breath.

_I've never seen him cry before..._ Izaya watched the tears fall with morbid fascination. It took awhile for his mind to register the fact that Shizuo Heiwajima was crying. But when it did, Izaya hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

The golden-haired man suddenly wrapped his arms around the noirette's torso and pulled him close. He buried his face in the smaller man's shoulder. Izaya could feel tears soaking through the fabric of the borrowed shirt. He placed one hand on the back of Shizuo's head and stroked his hair.

Shizuo's grip on him gradually loosened until he was limply leaning against Izaya, the informant combing the blonde locks of his hair and keeping one arm firmly encircling him.

Long after the crying had stopped, Shizuo sat upright again and gave the informant a grateful half-smile. Then it was like a switch had been flipped. His expression became almost stoic, nearly emotionless as his brother's, and he said, "I'll go visit him tonight. The reporters should probably be cleared out by then." He got up, and left shortly after.

Izaya grudgingly ate a bowl of cereal to quiet his growling stomach. When he walked into the bathroom to shower later on, he looked over himself again. _I'm not getting the results I want fast enough_, he thought to himself angrily. _Maybe I'll lose weight faster if I cut back to just one meal per day. It's worth a try. _He showered and changed clothes before laying down on the couch. Though he would probably never admit it, Izaya was incredibly lonely without Shizuo there. But he didn't want the bodyguard to take more time off from his job because of him, so he resolved to just deal with it. He watched TV for the majority of the day, and read some random book he found for the rest of the time. Izaya didn't eat lunch or dinner, which his body was not pleased about. He got a horrible ache in his stomach, but forced himself to ignore it.

Everything Shizuo did or said that day seemed dull and lifeless. Tom commented on this at one point, but dropped the subject, knowing that he wouldn't tell him anything he didn't want to tell him.

Luckily, the reporters and such had all left the hospital by the time Shizuo got there. He told the woman at the front desk that he was Kasuka's brother and was then allowed into the room. It didn't seem right, seeing all those machines hooked up to his sibling, and all the bandages covering various parts of him. The older Heiwajima couldn't stand to stay much longer than fifteen minutes. He said, "Get better soon," to the younger man and then left. After the visit to the hospital, Shizuo didn't feel like heading back to his apartment. He wanted to be alone for awhile, so he walked through the streets of Ikebukero. No one dared to bother him, just as he knew they wouldn't. Two hours of aimless wandering later, the blonde returned home.

Izaya was asleep on the couch again. He had hoped that for once Shizuo would leave him there and sleep in the bed. But the ex-bartender picked him up as he always did and carried him to the bedroom. He carefully set Izaya down on the bed and pulled the blankets over him. "God," he whispered, standing by the side of the bed, "please don't try to take _him_ from me too."

* * *

**A/N: Aughhhhh why do I keep hurting characters? Oh well. Heh, poor Kasuka. He apparently drew the short straw. Don't worry, I probably won't kill him. So yeah, this is about a week late. Oops. I'll do my best not to let that happen again. I'll try to get the next chapter up by tomorrow or the day after. **


	14. Chapter 14

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

The next month seemed to blur together into one long period of misery and loneliness for Shizuo and Izaya both. The normal routine was for Shizuo to leave a couple hours before meeting up with Tom. Then after work, he'd stay at the hospital until visiting hours were over. All he would ever do is sit in that same chair beside his brother's bed, hoping and praying that he'd wake up. It became a cycle for him, but Izaya never adjusted.

Every day the informant would wake up in an empty apartment. He skipped breakfast and dinner, only allowing himself a small lunch. His body had become so malnourished that he had to sleep for most of the day to make up for the lack of energy. When he wasn't sleeping, he just laid around and watched TV. There was even less he could do now since just walking left him completely exhausted. No matter how hard he tried to stay awake long enough to see Shizuo return, he was too weak and eventually passed out.

Izaya was so lonely and sad without Shizuo there. He'd always wonder to himself, _Have I done something wrong? Why is he avoiding me?_ Shizuo didn't know why he was avoiding him either. He was even more miserable without the noirette he'd fallen in love with around. _I know he could never feel the way I do,_ he often thought to himself, _but I shouldn't stay away from him because of that. Maybe I'll actually be happy if I stop isolating myself... _But he had yet to speak to Izaya again.

By this time, the season had shifted from fall to winter. Therefore, the nights had grown much colder. Even under the extra layer of blankets piled on the bed, it was impossible for Izaya to get warm. His body was already putting all its energy into just keeping him alive with the lack of food, so it was hard for it to keep itself warm as well. The simple resolution to eat less had evolved into a case of severe anorexia over the past month. It was slowly killing Izaya. If he didn't starve himself to death, then some vital function, such as stable body temperature, would shut down completely.

One night, at about two in the morning, the heater died. It didn't take long for a chill to settle over the apartment. The intense cold and hunger he was feeling woke Izaya up. He was suddenly very aware that if he didn't get warm soon, there would most likely be consequences. Not really thinking straight, he struggled out of the bed. Halfway down the hall, Izaya felt a sudden wave of dizziness. It caused him to stumble and crash to the floor.

The noise woke Shizuo, who rushed to the hallway to find Izaya sitting against the wall with his knees pulled up to his chest. At least, to the extent one can pull his knees up to his chest with one leg in a cast. Even from that far away and in the dark, he could see Izaya shivering violently. He calmly walked over and crouched in front of his trembling form.

"Sh-Shizu-chan, the h-heat d-d-died," he said, barely able to speak over his teeth chattering together.

"I know," he replied, "but why are you on the floor?"

"I t-tripped."

"Why are you even out of bed in the first place? That's probably the reason why you're so cold."

"I d-don't know w-why, b-but I can't g-get warm no mat-t-ter where I a-am."

Shizuo gently picked him up off the ground and gave him a look of shock and concern. His entire body was the temperature of ice. "Were you sleeping outside or something?!" he exclaimed. "You're freezing cold," he muttered, setting Izaya down on the bed. Shizuo then climbed in next to him and pulled the blankets over both of them. The raven-haired man let out a surprised squeak as a pair of warm arms wrapped around him. "Sh-Shizu-ch-chan?"

"Shush. I'm keeping you warm."

Izaya smiled. It was the first time in awhile he'd been this close to Shizuo. He went rigid at that thought. _Oh god. I'm such a burden to him. The only reason he's doing this is becaus__e he's trying to be nice. He doesn't want to be near me. And why would he? He probably hates me. No. I can't start crying. Not here, not now. No, I'm such an idiot. Stop. I can't-_

"Izaya...? Are you crying?"

He opened his mouth to say that he wasn't, but instead, a sob tore from his throat. He tried to pull back and wipe the tears from his eyes, but Shizuo held him still.

"It's because I've been avoiding you, isn't it?"

"I don't b-blame you. I'm k-kind of a p-pain in the ass," he said with a bitter chuckle.

"I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to make it seem like I no longer cared. I just needed some time to think I guess..."

Izaya took a couple minutes to compose himself while Shizuo rubbed comforting circles on his back. Finally, he said, "A protozoan like you, thinking?! I find that hard to believe, Shizu-chan." He didn't want the other to see how relieved he was.

"Oh shut up, flea."

Both of them laughed a bit for the first time in what felt like forever.

A shiver ran through Izaya's body once again, and he snuggled closer to Shizuo. "Hmm... You're warm..." Izaya murmured drowsily, gently nuzzling his chest and letting out a content sigh. The blonde smiled and tightened his hold on the smaller man, but not so much as to hurt him.

Shizuo couldn't help but to think that holding Izaya felt so right. _I really love him. Someday I'll tell him that... Right now, I don't want to risk ruining this moment. But I'll definitely tell him someday. _

Both of the bed's occupants drifted off into a peaceful sleep not long after.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry this is so laaaate. Everything was just a nightmare this whole week, but now that I have a break from school I should be able to actually stay on schedule.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

Izaya was shocked to see that Shizuo was still there when he woke up. And on top of that, he was still holding him. It was tempting to just close his eyes and fall back asleep surrounded by Shizuo's warmth, but he resisted said temptation and tried to wake the sleeping blonde instead.

"Shizu-chan," he said, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it. Izaya tried not to blush at how close their faces were. "Shizu-chaaaaaaaan," he whined, shaking him harder.

Shizuo finally opened one eye, and then both. He smiled at Izaya and rubbed sleep from his eyes.

"Good morning, Shizu-chan~"

"Good morning." He sat up and stretched before saying, "Oh, I just remembered. Shinra called yesterday and said you could get your cast off today. I have the day off, so I can take you there."

"Okay."

After Shizuo left the room, Izaya pulled out a different pair of shorts and a T-shirt. When he walked into the living room, the ex-bartender gave him a strange look.

"It's snowing outside. Are you sure you don't want to wear something... warmer?"

"Oh. Well do you have anything besides bartender suits and the type of stuff I'm currently wearing?"

"...No."

"Pffft reall-"

"Yes, really. Shut up."

"Ahaha, sorry."

"I guess you'll just have to wear one of my bartender suits."

Izaya blushed slightly. "That is the most idiotic thing you've ever said."

"Do you have any better ideas?! 'Cause I'm not letting you fucking freeze to death!" Shizuo yelled, slamming his hand into the wall hard enough to leave a web of cracks behind. He brushed bits of plaster off his hand and muttered, "Sorry," to the startled-looking informant.

"Fine, I'll wear the suit."

"They're in the second drawer from the bottom."

With a childish huff, Izaya went back into the bedroom. And didn't come out in the next ten minutes.

"Izaya?" the blonde questioned, standing beside the door.

There was no answer.

"Come on, how long does it take to change clothes?!"

"... I look dumb."

"Really? That's why you're still in there?" he said incredulously, barging into the room.

Sure enough, Izaya was standing there in a bartender suit a few sizes to big for him.

"This is stupid!" Izaya shouted, flailing his arms. His face was bright red with embarrassment.

_Oh my god, he's so adorable. I wanna hug him so much, _Shizuo thought to himself. _He even put the bowtie on. How is he so cute? _

"Um, you look fine," Shizuo said.

Izaya pouted and walked away without saying anything else.

"Well?" he said once he was in the living room, "Are we leaving?"

"Yeah. You'll need to borrow some shoes too, though."

The raven-haired man didn't even bother arguing. He just put the too-big shoes on. Well, the one shoe he could put on. The cast prevented him from wearing the second shoe. He was surprised he'd managed to fit the pants over it.

"Here, I'll take the other one with me," Shizuo said as he picked up the neglected piece of footwear.

As they walked the streets of Ikebukero, Izaya put his head down, hoping no one would recognize him. Luckily, the two similarly-dressed men got to Shinra's apartment without any incidents.

"Don't you dare laugh, Shinra," the informant said, giving his friend a glare.

Shinra tried to force the grin off his face, but failed miserably. The whole time he was removing the cast, there was a smirk on his face. Once the cast was gone, his expression turned serious.

"Have you been eating enough, Izaya?" he asked as the man in question slid off the table and gingerly let his foot touch the floor.

"Yes," he lied, "why do you ask?"

"Those clothes are practically hanging off of you."

"All of Shizu-chan's clothes are too big on me."

"Ah. I suppose that's true."

Izaya inwardly sighed in relief when Shinra dropped the subject.

Izaya was very glad to be out of there. He was usually the one making people uncomfortable, not the other way around.

"Put the shoe on," Shizuo said handing over the shoe.

After Izaya did so, they began to walk back to the apartment. They had to go rather slowly, due to the fact that his leg was still sore and stiff. While they were waiting for a traffic light to change, a hand clamped down over Izaya's mouth. As he was yanked back into the nearby alley, he tried desperately to grab Shizuo's arm. He stretched his fingers as far as he could, and barely grazed the fabric of Shizuo's shirt.

But it wasn't enough.

Izaya screamed and kicked, trying to fight off the man dragging him back. He could still see Shizuo. _Look this way, you protozoan! Don't walk away!_ he thought, panicking. _No..._

The walk signal appeared.

Shizuo crossed the street.

And then he was gone.

Izaya gave up and let himself be dragged away. There was no escape for him, and his only chance of help was gone. He was slammed into the wall of bricks at the end of the alley, and held down by two men. This was all too familiar...

"Miss me, Izaya?" a voice sneered.

"What the hell do you want!" Izaya shouted, unable to keep a slight tremor out of his voice.

"No need to be so rude. I just wanted to talk."

Izaya struggled against the two holding him down, and the rapist sighed. "I didn't want to resort to violence, Izaya, but you forced me."

He slapped him across the face with all his might. Once his vision cleared, informant stopped struggling and simply glared up at the man before him.

"I saw the way you looked at that guy you were walking with. You like him, don't you," the criminal snickered. "It's pathetic, really. You honestly believe that he'll love you back? No one could ever love filth like you!"

_He's right,_ Izaya thought miserably, looking down as his eyes teared up.

"So now you're gonna cry, you fucking pussy?" The man laughed loudly and suddenly grabbed his victim by the jaw, forcing him to make eye contact. "Don't be so upset. We can still have some fun~"

He grabbed the edge of the vest and the shirt Izaya was wearing and yanked the two layers up. "What the hell?! You look like a fucking skeleton! You've gotten into some sort of anorexic bullshit, haven't you. This is priceless!" He chuckled cruelly at the tears sliding down Izaya's face.

"That's no fun at all... You're nothing but garbage to me now. Hell, you always were, but now you're completely useless! 'Cause god knows I'm not gonna fuck someone as disgustingly skinny as you." He pulled out a knife and raised it over his head. "Oh well. It was fun while it lasted, Izaya~ Haha, don't worry, I'm sure no one will miss you!"

The noirette squeezed his eyes shut as the knife was swung down in one, smooth arc-

And blood painted it red.

* * *

**A/N: Aaaaand cliffhanger. Sort of. More like suddenly cut off chapter because I'm an ass. Hurrhurr.**

** And this time it isn't a dream. I regret nothing. /scumbag author is a scumbag**


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

* * *

Shizuo stared at the man as blood dripped from his shoulder. He grabbed him by the neck and threw him into the wall. His two accomplices fled, so he simply walked over to where the man was laying in a heap on the ground.

"Listen up, you leave him the hell alone or I will fucking _end you_," Shizuo snarled at the man before lifting him up by the front of his shirt and punching him hard enough to send him flying out of the alleyway.

Izaya looked down, completely in shock. _I was about to be killed... But he saved me. _At the last moment, Shizuo had yanked the attacker back, causing the knife to be stabbed into his shoulder instead of Izaya's neck.

The ex-bartender pulled the knife out of his shoulder and crushed it to pieces. He let the bloodied shards of knife fall to the ground before tearing off a strip of his vest. The strip of fabric was wound tightly around his injured shoulder to stop the bleeding.

Once he was done, Shizuo turned around, and all rage faded from his eyes when he saw Izaya. He walked over and knelt down in front of the shaking man.

"Izaya?" Shizuo reached over and placed a hand on Izaya's jawline. He lifted Izaya's head and looked at him with worried, fearful eyes. It didn't take long for the informant to break down in tears.

The blonde felt that familiar twist in his heart again, but this time it was stronger. He slowly pulled Izaya into his arms and held him in a tender, protective embrace. "It's okay," he whispered, gently rubbing the informant's back. "You're safe now. I promise."

Izaya clung to his savior out love and sheer need to be close to him. He sobbed against Shizuo's good shoulder and tightly wrapped both his arms around the blonde.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," Shizuo said over and over again, now lightly stroking the back of Izaya's head with one hand. It took a few minutes, but Izaya eventually calmed down and loosened his grip on Shizuo. The bodyguard gently grabbed his shoulders and held him back to get a good look at him. "Did they hurt you?" he asked nervously.

Izaya shook his head no. The things they'd said had hurt as much as any physical wound, but he couldn't exactly say that. Especially since he thought they were true.

"Good," he said with a small smile. "Let's go home now." Shizuo hesitated for a moment, but then leaned down and kindly placed a soft kiss on Izaya's right cheek. They both blushed madly. When Shizuo picked Izaya up, he pressed his face into the blonde's chest his hide how red his face was. He could hear Shizuo's gentle laugh, his quick heartbeat, and his steady breaths so clearly reverberating in his chest. It was peaceful and calming, and Izaya found himself beginning to doze off. But he tried to stay awake. He wanted to feel Shizuo's warmth and breathe his scent for as long as possible, and he wanted to enjoy every moment of it. Because he knew that no matter how long he did, it would never be quite enough.

In spite of his efforts, he fell asleep anyway.

Shizuo entered the apartment and noticed that Izaya was sleeping. There was a small smile on his pale lips. _I think he's having a good dream,_ Shizuo thought, grinning slightly. _I wish he wouldn't smile like that though, it makes it so much easier to fall in love with him._

He sat down on the couch, and set Izaya on his lap. The noirette leaned against him and nuzzled his neck in his sleep. Shizuo laughed quietly, "Stop that, you flea, that tickles." He hugged the sleeping informant and sighed. "Heh, you're really way too cute." His face slightly red, Shizuo kissed Izaya's cheek again, this time holding his lips to the raven-haired man's soft skin longer than before.

Shizuo began to feel drowsy after just sitting there holding an unconscious Izaya for awhile. He laid down on the couch, cuddling Izaya like a child might cuddle their toy. But much gentler, of course.

"Just hurry up and notice that I'm in love with you, you damn flea," Shizuo whispered, kissing Izaya's head a few times before closing his eyes and slipping into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Welp this chapter is rather short and extremely fluffy. There will be plently of angst in the next chapter to make up for it though. /evil grin**


	17. Chapter 17

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

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_Izaya stood at the edge off the cliff overlooking the sea. The only sound that of waves breaking on the shore far below where he stood. He began to turn around to leave after standing there for awhile when something crashed into him. He struggled to maintain his balance, but the unidentified force was too strong. His feet were suddenly no longer touching ground, and he fell backwards off the cliff. Wind whipped past him as he fell. There was nothing he could do. Any remaining breath was knocked from his body as he hit the ground with a loud-_

Thud.

Izaya jolted awake as his back made contact with the floor. He looked up and saw Shizuo's face. Wait, what?

The blonde was straddling Izaya's waist and had his arms pinned to the ground. He looked just as surprised as the man under him. Shizuo's face flushed bright red as he realized what his current position implied.

"Izaya! Ah! I'm sorry! This- this isn't what it looks like! We were both sleeping and I rolled off the couch and fell on top of you! I'm so sorry! I would never do this, I swear!"

"Shizu-chan, it's fine," Izaya said with a nervous laugh.

Shizuo muttered one last frenzied apology before clamping his mouth shut and looking down at Izaya. "...Are you mad?"

"Of course not! Accidents happen, right?" the informant said cheerfully. "But could you, um, get off me?"

"Yeah!" Shizuo clambered off of Izaya and quickly pulled him to his feet. They both laughed off the incident awkwardly, both more embarrassed than the other knew.

"I'm going to the hospital today. Do you want to come with me? I mean, if you don't want to be alone or something," Shizuo said.

"Sure," Izaya replied.

They argued for a few minutes over what Izaya should wear since it was still very cold. Shizuo insisted that he just suck it up and wear another bartender suit, and Izaya blatantly refused. The ex-bartender finally gave up and shouted, "Fine! I don't fucking care if you die!" He immediately regretted saying something so meaningless, because it wasn't meaningless to Izaya.

The informant looked at Shizuo with a surprised expression that quickly turned to hurt. He couldn't stop the tears that welled up in his eyes from spilling over, so he looked away.

"Izaya?" Shizuo said uncertainly. He watched as the raven-haired man stood completely silent for several seconds.

Suddenly Izaya pitifully sniffled and rubbed his eyes.

"Hey... Don't cry..." Shizuo said softly, reaching towards him.

"If you don't care if I'm dead, why would you care if I'm crying?!" he yelled, flinching away from the blonde.

"I didn't mean it!"

"Really! Then why would you say that?!" Izaya brushed tears away furiously. "Wh-why would you s-say that..." he repeated, his yelling faded into miserable sobs. "Sh-Shizu-chan..." He buried his face in his hands and cried harder.

_What is __**wrong**__ with me?!_ Shizuo thought to himself. _I keep __**hurting**__ him! I don't want to hurt him... _

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean what I said... I just... I got angry and said something impulsive. Come here..."

Shizuo hugged Izaya gently, and after a couple of seconds, the bodyguard felt a thin pair of arms hug him back. They both stayed quiet for awhile, taking comfort in each other's presence.

Eventually, Shizuo said, "I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Izaya said with the beginnings of a smile on his lips, cutting off whatever Shizuo had been about to say.

On good terms once again, they left for the hospital shortly after. As they walked, Izaya stayed as close to Shizuo as possible. He continuously cast nervous glances around the area, and clung to his arm whenever they passed an alley. Shizuo simply glared at anyone who got too close to Izaya. It was more than enough to scare them off.

About halfway there, Izaya began shivering with the cold.

"I told you to change clothes, you damn louse," the blonde muttered.

"I'm not cold, protozoan!" he protested in a frustrated tone. After saying that, he tried to still his shivers. He convincingly acted like he was perfectly fine, but Shizuo could tell he was freezing his ass off.

With an exasperated sigh, Shizuo pulled Izaya against his chest and held him. He ignored the protests from the noirette and the odd looks they were both getting. "You're really a piece of work, y'know that?" he said in an amused voice when Izaya resorted to just glaring at him.

"Shut up," he huffed in reply.

The blonde snickered and rested his chin on Izaya's head. They walked the rest of the way like that. Izaya was blushing bright red, but wasn't cold anymore.

Shizuo's expression became serious and he let go of Izaya as they entered the hospital. While they were in Kasuka's room, the informant heard a couple of nurses and a doctor quietly talking outside the room. Shizuo didn't even look up, so he figured it must be a normal occurrence. But he turned out to be very wrong.

The door opened and the doctor stepped in. "Mr. Heiwajima? May I speak to you for a moment?" he asked in a grim voice.

Shizuo hesitantly got out of the chair and nervously glanced at Izaya, who gave him a reassuring smile. With a weak attempt to return the gesture, he stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him. "Is there a problem?"

"I'm afraid so."

All color drained from Shizuo's face.

"Your brother isn't getting any better. Actually, to be completely honest, there's less and less chance he'll wake up with each passing day. He's not even aware that he's in a coma. The only thing keeping him alive right now is the life-support we have hooked up to him..."

"Where are you going with this," Shizuo said in a uneven voice.

"Well, he's showing very little brain activity, and we're pretty sure he's in pain... To put it simply, the only thing we can do for him is... pull the plug."

The blonde-haired man looked like he was about to cry, get sick, and pass out simultaneously. His breaths were coming in erratic gasps and he swore he felt his heart stop for a second. "No, you can't!"

"He stated his wishes in a living will, and even if we don't do this, he'll be dead by next month. "

"No- I can't- I- I need to- He just-" Shizuo couldn't even form a coherent thought, let alone a coherent sentence. When he finally pulled himself together enough to think straight, the thoughts crashed down on him like a ton of bricks.

_This can't be happening. It has to be a dream- no! At nightmare! I refuse to believe this is real. He isn't dying! My brother isn't dying! He's always been there, ever since we were kids..._

This much was true. Growing up, Shizuo didn't have any friends. He'd always been an outsider, but when he discovered his unnatural strength, no one but Shinra and Kasuka would even talk to him anymore. They were all too scared. He didn't seem like he cared, but truthfully, he was extremely lonely. Or at least he would've been, if it wasn't for his brother. He wasn't afraid of Shizuo. Even when everyone else would avoid him, Kasuka wouldn't. It didn't matter that he was stoic, or that he never said much, because his company was enough for Shizuo.

_And now... They're going to end his life? This can't be real. Please, God, I don't want this to be real._

"... Can I have a few minutes with him first... To say... goodbye..." he managed to say, not looking the doctor in the eyes.

"Go ahead."

Reentering the room, he slowly walked over to Kasuka's bedside. Shizuo stared down at him, feeling like he was literally being crushed by the grief.

Izaya looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Ne, Shizu-chan. What's wrong?"

"They're..." he faltered as his voice cracked. Trying to keep his composure, he started again, "They're going to..." He gave up and sobbed, "They're pulling the plug!"

"Kasuka, please! I don't want you to die! Please! Kasuka!" Shizuo practically screamed, looking up at his brother's comatose form as he collapsed to his knees. "Wake up! Wake up! Please... Wake up..." He continued his pleas until they dissolved into hopeless crying.

Izaya grabbed Shizuo's hand and hauled him to his feet with much difficulty. Once he was standing, Izaya intertwined their fingers and gave his crush's hand a comforting squeeze.

Shizuo pulled the chair as close to the bed as possible and then sat down in it. He pressed his face into Kasuka's thin chest and continued to cry. But his hand never let go of Izaya's.

The paler man slung his unoccupied arm over Shizuo's back. He rested his head on the bodyguard's trembling shoulder and pressed soft kisses into Shizuo's locks of blonde hair.

_The tables sure can turn quickly,_ Izaya thought to himself as he remembered how upset he'd been earlier. It didn't even come close to the state Shizuo was in now.

Izaya jumped in surprise and Shizuo's heart dropped through the floor. The long beep that accompanies a flatline was now suddenly ringing out.

* * *

**A/N: ... *hands Kasuka an apology card***

**So yeah, I guess I lied when I said I wouldn't kill Kasuka. Um. Maybe I'll figure out some way to make him... Not dead? Sorry. I apparently just can't help myself when it comes to killing characters, haha. **

**(Possible character death is now in the warnings. I don't know if I'll actually end up keeping a character dead or not. Derp.)**


	18. Chapter 18

**I don't own Durarara or any of the characters.**

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Shizuo waited for a second before looking up in confusion and relief. His heart is still beating, so he can't be dead.

The blonde was too shocked to speak as his eyes met Kasuka's.

"The beeping was annoying. I didn't know it would set off an alarm," he said in his usual apathetic voice, dangling the plug he'd yanked from the wall in his left hand. Kasuka winced at the loud, continuous sound. "This is even worse."

"You're awake?" Shizuo said in almost a whisper.

"Yes."

"You're awake!" he shouted, nearly crushing poor Kasuka as he practically tackled him in a hug.

The cord of the heart monitor flew out of the actor's hand, and he was slammed down into the pillows by his brother. He patted the man hugging him on the back, and though his face was expressionless, there was a hint of a fond look in his eyes.

Izaya stood watching the two siblings, not sure what to do or say. He found himself smiling though. Seeing Shizuo so happy made him feel happy as well.

"I can't really breathe."

"Sorry!" The blonde climbed off of his younger brother.

Catching him completely off-guard, Shizuo ran up to Izaya and grabbed him by the hips. In one smooth motion, he lifted the smaller man off the ground and spun him in a circle, laughing joyfully the whole time. Izaya held onto Shizuo's shoulders for balance. Once he set him down again, the bodyguard immediately held him close.

"Haha, he's awake~" Shizuo pretty much sang over the informant's shoulder.

Izaya was blushing and laughing as he hugged Shizuo back tightly.

The amber-eyed man held the other at arm's length, looking a bit unsure for a second. He ran his hands down Izaya's arms lightly until they found the other set of hands. Lacing their fingers together, he leaned forward and kissed Izaya on the tip of his nose, and then both his cheeks. He could literally feel the heat of the blush on the other's face as he rested their heads together and closed his eyes.

Izaya hadn't noticed it before, but now he saw that there were tears of joy streaming down Shizuo's face. Laughing again, the raven-haired man brushed away the tears.

"Are you two dating?"

Kasuka had been watching them curiously the whole time, and finally spoke up. In his defense, it was a perfectly valid question.

"No!" They shouted simultaneously, both blushing excessively and pushing the other away. However, Shizuo pushed a bit too hard, causing Izaya to lose his balance and fall over. Shizuo caught the informant before he hit the ground and helped him steady himself, which was rather counter-productive to the point they'd been trying to prove.

The movie star blinked and stared at them for a second before it all clicked in his head. "My apologies," he said, his blank expression making it impossible to tell what he was thinking.

The doctor and both nurses burst through the door. One of the women put the plug back in the wall, while the other stood next the doctor.

"This is nothing short of a miracle!" he said. "It should've been impossible for you to wake up, but you did! Congratulations!"

"We're going to keep you here a couple more nights so you can make a full recovery," the nurse beside the doctor said.

Luckily the nurse who reconnected and reset the heart monitor was a good-natured woman, so she didn't sound cross when she said, "And don't unplug the monitor this time."

"We should probably leave before the press gets here," Shizuo said, starting towards the door. "We'll visit tomorrow if the place isn't overflowing with fans and reporters."

Both Izaya and Shizuo waved to Kasuka before Shizuo shut the door.

After they'd been walking for awhile, someone grabbed Izaya's arm and yanked him back.

"Worthless," an all-too-familiar voice breathed in his ear. "Stupid. Over-emotional. Ugly. Defenseless. No one loves you. Everyone's gotten tired of you, even me. Just fucking die already." There was a low chuckle, and then he felt something cold being pressed to his back. Izaya turned around quickly and grabbed the man's wrist with both hands. It took all his strength to keep the knife from being stabbed into his stomach, which was a battle he was quickly losing.

_Oh god. I'm going to die. But do I really want to live? Should I just let him kill me? _

His arms were trembling with the effort of holding the man back. With his body weakened so much, it was too difficult. So he just... let go. He bit back a cry of pain as the blade plunged into his stomach. When the knife was pulled back and stabbed into his gut again three more times in rapid succession, his legs gave out underneath of him. Izaya curled up in fetal position as he bled out on the ground. The pain was vicious and unrelenting, even more so when the man drove the knife into his stomach one more time. He let go of the blood slicked hilt and raced away as several people called the police, and double that number called the hospital.

Shizuo heard cries of dismay and fear from behind him and turned around in irritation. He tensed up at the realization that Izaya was no longer with him. Shoving people out of the way roughly, he backtracked hastily, fear coursing through him.

"Izaya!" he shouted upon reaching the place they'd been separated and seeing the informant laying in a pool of his own blood. Shizuo pushed bystanders out of the way to get to the injured man.

Izaya felt a sudden transition from the deep cold chill of the snow-covered concrete to warmth. Gentle, comforting warmth of a human being. Or in this case, someone perhaps a bit more than just human.

"Shizu... chan..." the pale man whispered, forcing his eyes open to look up at the bodyguard. Shizuo was kneeling on the ground and gently cradling the freezing informant on his lap, trying to protect him from at least the cold.

"I'm so sorry, Izaya. This is all my fault. I should've been paying more attention! I should've protected you! I... I'm just... sorry..."

"It's okay... Shizu-chan," Izaya said softly, trying to smile through the agony. He coughed violently, blood trickling from the corners of his mouth when the fit subsided.

"Hey... Listen, I'm not..." Izaya trailed off, trying and failing to hold back tears of pain and fear before continuing, "I'm not gonna... last much... longer... So I need you to... Listen to me..." He looked up, confused, when something warm and wet fell on his face.

"Shizu-chan... Don't cry..." Izaya reached up and wiped a tear from the blonde's face. "Why are you crying... You protozoan..."

Despite being covered in blood, Izaya's hand was the temperature of ice.

"You can't die... Please, I can't live without you anymore! I don't know what will happen to me if you die! You can't die! Izaya!"

The dying man pulled himself into an almost-sitting position, wincing with every small movement. He straddled Shizuo's legs and sat just looking at him for a moment. Then he fell against his shoulder, and tightly wrapped his arms around the blonde. He managed a small smile as Shizuo hugged him back carefully but desperately.

"It's... okay... Don't cry..." Izaya said against Shizuo's neck. "I... I lo-" he was cut off by his entire body going limp.

"Oh god... Izaya... Don't leave me. Please, you can't be dead. Please... I don't want to live without you..."

Shizuo buried his face in Izaya's shoulder, sobbing loudly. "I-Izaya..."

Izaya hadn't even finished saying "I love you".

* * *

**A/N: So. It's been awhile, dear readers. And I have no excuses. I'm just a lazy asshat with writer's block. At this point I'm just sorta winging it. Hell, I've been doing that the whole time, haha. This time I made the first half extremely happy and the second half crushingly sad. Yup, hope you enjoyed reading this rather bipolar chapter. I'm not sorry XD**


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